eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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