Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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