She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My pussy is not your playground.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
