He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
This toilet bowl is my home.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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