I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My pussy is not your playground.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
