The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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