You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
