You work out of a Hotel?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
