Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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