just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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