Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
high people should be assigned attendants
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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