All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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