I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
