Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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