How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
