What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
