You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
