Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
