Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
