Got a toothbrush?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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