i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
