I'm really into asian looking animals
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
