hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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