I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
