he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
