dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
