My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
