I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
