I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
