You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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