I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
