brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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