so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
