This girl is more easily done than said...
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
