Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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