Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
