I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
