i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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