dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
