if you like me you must not know who I am
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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