How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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