You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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