Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
