I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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