i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
