You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
