Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
