he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
