HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
