Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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